Tender Loving Care
by JaggedHands
Summary: Amanda is experiencing bad cramps while on her period. Perhaps Olivia can make her feel better.


Tender Loving Care

Amanda was almost hunched over her desk, her elbows resting on the hard wooden surface, her head pounding mad and, one minute, her body wouldn't stop shivering from cold spells and the next hot flushes washed over her, causing a light sheen of sweat to bloom on her forehead and upper lip. She usually got cramps and changes in her body temperature while she was on her monthly cycle. Sometimes it got so bad she could hardly get out of bed in the morning, in too much pain to even move and the thought of facing a brand new day at the precinct would make her feel sick to her stomach.

Luckily, those times were extremely rare but this time it was bad. Really bad. The cramps had started about two hours ago and she bad no painkillers in her desk or purse. Normal drugs rarely helped the agonizing pains and she had to get pain meds on prescription from her doctor. Being so busy at work, the last few months, it had totally slipped her mind to have it refilled and now she was suffering for it. She could feel the colour draining from her face as another wave of cramps hit her hard and she had bite her lip to suppress a loud moan.

Fortunately, the bullpen was empty and dim lit. Everyone had gone home for the day a few hours earlier but Amanda had decided to stay and finish her endless pile of files that needed to be looked through, signed and filed away. She had hardly eaten anything all day, not feeling hungry at all and all she had been drinking was coffee to get that energy kick that she so desperately needed to get through the day.

She had made the decision to stay longer due to Olivia's grumpy mood, feeling that she, somehow, had to make it up to her boss for all the bad choices and mistakes she had made in the past few months. A grumpy and narky Olivia was not pleasant to deal with so she wanted to keep ahead on her paperwork for her own sake but she regret her decision to work the overtime now. She would rather be lying in her bed, any bed, with the curtains drawn, wrapped in warm and soft blankets and just feeling sorry for herself. The thick stack of files on her desk didn't seem to get any smaller as she went through them one by one. She was miserable.

"Rollins! You still here?" Liv asked in surprise as she opened her office door, coat on, purse in hand and ready to leave for the night.

Amanda felt her face turn a deep shade of red as another hot flush washed over her and she could literally feel her body go all clammy and sticky. "Um, yeah... I wanted to get some of the paperwork done before the weekend." she muttered, trying not to slur her words as she spoke, due to the pain.

"Oh, okay. I'm heading out." she began walking across the room but stopped suddenly. "Why don't you finish them on Monday? Come on, go home and get some rest. It's an order, you look like you need it."

Amanda just offered her a stiff smile and nodded her head. "Yes, Lieutenant." she waited for Olivia to leave but the brunette remained in the same position and it became clear to the blonde that she was obviously waiting for her to get up and finish for the day.

"Walk me out?" Liv asked gently, shifting her purse into her other hand.

"Sure." came the short response and Amanda shut down her computer, did a quick tidy up on her desk, stood up and reached for her coat that was hanging at the back of her chair. Suddenly, the room began to spin and she could feel herself sway on her feet, her face went white as a sheet and a stabbing pain shot through her ovaries. "Fuck!" she mumbled, wrapped her arms around her middle and sat back down on her seat, breathing heavily through the pain.

"Amanda, hey, what's wrong? You okay?"

As she opened her eyes she spotted her boss kneeling down in front of her, placing the back of her hand on the blonde's clammy forehead. "Are you sick, honey? What's going on? Are you hurt?" her brown eyes searched Amanda's blue for an answer but when she didn't get one she brushed the blonde hair away from her heated face, placed her hand underneath her chin and guided her head up. "Hey, sweetie, what's wrong?"

 _Sweetie! Honey!_ Olivia had never called her any of those petnames before. In the four years of working with the senior detective she couldn't recall one single time when Olivia had even remotely been so concerned about her wellbeing. It made her slightly uncomfortable and awkward but at the same time she kind of liked it. It made her feel like she was finally noticed by her boss, finally seen as a person and not just another detective. She shifted on her seat, moaning loudly as another cramp ripped through her lower belly. "I'm okay." she hissed.

"The hell you are. Amanda what's going on? Do you need a hospital?" there was worry and fear laced in her tone and she placed a hand gently on the blonde's knee, rubbing her thumb across the material of her dress pants. "Tell me, Amanda, please?!"

"I'm okay, it's just... just... you know..." she tried to make Liv understand without actually having to say the word by raising her eyebrows and drew her lips into a thin line, smiling awkwardly. "It's that time, you know." she chuckled but stopped as a cold spell hit her this time and she shivered.

Liv just nodded, understanding what the young detective was talking about and she offered her a sympathetic expression. "Oh, that bad, ugh?" she continued to gently rub her thumb over Amanda's knee, offering some kind of comfort to sooth the pain.

"Not usually." the blonde moaned. "I mean, I always get it bad but this time..." she laughed, "this time, is a bitch. Oh, god!" she clasped her hand over her mouth and she instantly knew that she wasn't gonna make it to the bathroom.

As fast as she possibly could, Liv grabbed the trashcan underneath Amanda's desk, shoved it between the blonde's knees and watched as the small woman heaved into the bin, grunting in discomfort and embarrassment. "That's it, let it all come out, honey. It's okay, just let go." Liv made sure Amanda was holding onto the trashcan as she proceeded to brush the blonde hair back from her sweaty neck and pulled it into a ponytail. "There you go, sweetie. You done? One more? It's okay, get it all out, shh."

After almost two full minutes of vomiting there was nothing left to throw up and the cramps in her stomach made everyting worse. She was only half aware of what was going on but snapped back into reality when a cool glas of water was pressed into her hand and she also noticed that the trashcan was missing but she didn't have the energy to worry about it.

"Drink it all, honey. You need it, you've only had coffee all day, I've been watching you. You have to take better care of yourself." she insisted, wiping the moisture of Amanda's face with a damp piece of toilet paper. "Do you have any painkillers for it?"

Blushing with embarrassment, Amanda looked down at her shaky hands. "I um, I've been too busy to get it refilled. It's okay, I'll just do it now." she started to get up again but was gently pushed back down into the chair.

"No way." Olivia insisted. "I'm gonna drive you home and I'll pick up the meds on our way, okay? All you have to worry about is yourself. Come on, you think you can make it to my car? I'll help you."

Together they slowly made it to Liv's black BMW and the brunette made sure she was safely strapped in before driving off. The prescription was collected without any hassle and Liv, after minutes of negotiation, made a decision to stay at Amanda's apartment until she knew she would be okay, much to the blonde's dismay, insisting that she would be fine on her own and that she didn't need a babysitter.

"I'm not babysitting you. I'm simply making sure you won't pass out, fall and hurt yourself in the process. What kind of friend would I be if I just left you here?"

"Friend?" Amanda stated but regretted it as soon as she realized that she had said it out loud. "I... I mean, thanks for... for um, caring." her voice almost went an octave higher and it sounded more like a question than just a simple statement. She just couldn't understand Liv's sudden change of behaviour towards her and it made her weary and uneasy.

Olivia eased Amanda down onto the couch and quickly got her a glass of water and two painkillers. "Take these and you'll feel better in no time."

"Humpf, easy for you to say. It takes about an hour and a half before these babies kick in." she popped the pills and drank most of the water. "I... I need a shower. I feel disgusting." standing up she stumbled towards the bathroom before Liv had a chance to stop her.

"Amanda, easy, let me help you." she offered, wrapping an arm around the blonde's waist and guided her into her bedroom.

Chuckling, Amanda sat down on the bed, feeling exhausted. "You're not showering me, Lieutenant. I'm quite capable of tending to my own personal hygiene, but thanks for the offer."

"You know what I meant." she tilted her head to the side and looked down at the small miserable young woman in front of her and her heart went out to the sickly blonde. "How do you feel now?"

Amanda took a deep shuddering breath and swallowed thickly. "Like shit, but I'll be fine." again the colour in her face dropped significantly and she ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, flung herself on the cold tiled floor and heaved violently into the toilet. "Fuck!" she grunted as wave after wave of nausea crept upon her.

"Oh, sweetheart, does it really get this bad at times or are you coming down with the stomach flu or something?" she wet a wash cloth and began to wipe the tears and sweat from the tired face, winching in sympathy.

Amanda was too weak to speak but managed to croak out a few words. "Not sick... it gets bad." she said between clenched teeth, feeling the pain in her stomach intensity due to the heavy retshing. Then her eyes welled up with tears, she suddenly felt so weak, pitiful and vulnerable in ber miserable state that she couldn't control her emotions and the tears rolled down her feverish cheeks. "I... I threw up the meds." she cried. "I'm... I'm gonna have take more and... and what if I throw up again? This will never end." she sobbed and curled into a tight ball on the floor, the pain getting too much to bare. "I'm sor... sorry." she hiccuped between the sobbing and crying. "I'm sorry."

Olivia bad never seen her subordinate in this state before. Amanda was always the resilient one, sassy, hardcore and tough. Seeing her like this broke her heart. "Oh, sweetheart! Come here, let me help you up. You'll feel better after a shower and I'll make us something to eat okay. Maybe some soup will go down easily and then maybe we'll try the painkillers again. How does that sound?" she asked as she brushed back blonde tresses that had escaped from it's hold.

Amanda nodded shakily. "O... okay."

While Amanda had a long hot shower, Liv rooted around in the, more or less, empty cupboards but did manage to find some canned soup, some crackers and, to her suprise, a hidden can of ginger ale. As the soup were heating up in the microwave, she turned the tv on for a bit of background noise, not really paying attention to what was actually showing. Her plan was to, hopefully, get Amanda to eat a full bowl of soup, a few crackers and crack open the fizzy drink and then tuck her into bed or the sofa, whichever she preferred and stay until she knew she was able to keep the meds down.

When Amanda appeared in the doorway, Liv couldn't help but to smile at the precious sight before her. The blonde looked ever smaller in her oversized pajama, her feet wore fluffy socks and her damp hair was falling into her eyes even though most of it was tied back. She looked absolutely adorable in Liv's eyes and all she wanted to do was to hug her close and make all her hurt go away. "Sit down, honey. Try to eat as much as you can, alright. I found a can of ginger ale at the bottom of your fridge, so, let's try this again, shall we?" she handed Amanda another two tablets to swallow and just hoped for the best.

A half a bowl of soup, three crackers and a ginger ale later, everything was looking good on the 'keeping it down' front. No nausea had made itself known and her headache had subsided to a dull ache but the cramps were still as strong as before and Amanda was twisting and turning on her seat, not able to find a comfortable position to ease her pain.

"Do you have a hot water bottle anywhere, honey?" the brunette questioned as she finished up cleaning after their simple dinner, throwing a glance at the blonde who was hunched over the back of the chair, one hand gripping hard around the wooden structure while the other arm was wrapped around her raised knees, hugging them tightly to her chest. "Yeah, in the bathroom somewhere. I... I don't know exactly where it is."

"It's okay, I'll find it." Liv stated as she disappeared down the hall and, true to her words, she did. "Hang in there, honey. Just give me a minute and I'll have this ready for you." she filled the kettle with water and turned it on, hearing it heating up already.

"How's a hot water bottle suppose to help me?" Amanda muttered in confusion, not quite understanding how this was going to make her feel better.

Liv raised her eyebrows in surprise, filling up the plastic bottle with the now boiling water. "You've never used this when you have cramps?"

Shaking her head, Amanda winched as another round of stabbing pains shot through her ovaries, like someone was taking a steady hold around them, squeezing them tightly. "I... I only use it when I'm cold." she mumbled into her knees, clutching at the back of the chair.

"Come on." Liv held her hand out for Amanda to take but the blonde was just lookin at it as if it was a strange object she's never seen before. "Do you trust me?" Liv asked sincerely, bending down slightly to meet Amanda's blue but clouded eyes.

"Y... Yes." came the shaky response, not being able to tear her gace of the older woman, as if she had her hypnotized or in some sort of a trance.

She finally grabbed the hand and let the brunette guide her to the couch where she sat herself down first, in the corner, legs spread and arms outstretched. "Come here, honey. Just lean back against me and relax."

Amanda looked at the waiting arms, shocked that her boss was offering to hold her in such an intimate way. "I... I'm not sure, I... I..."

"Shh, just let your walls down for one night, Amanda. It's okay to not be okay all the time. Let me do this for you, please." still holding her arms out, she waited for the blonde to settle in between her legs and, whe she knew Amanda was comfortable enough, she gently placed the hot watter bottle on her stomach, holding it in place with one hand while the other fixed the blanket so they were both fully covered. Then, she leaned back against the cushions and brought Amanda with her, one hand now gently placed on a clammy forehead.

"Just relax, sweetie. I'm gonna be right here until the meds kick in, alright? Don't worry about anything. I've got you." she hushed into a nearby ear, rubbing her shoulders slightly to ease some of the tension and stiffness. "Is the heat helping with the cramps at all?" she whispered and pulled Amanda slightly closer as she felt her nod. "Good. Hopefully the meds will start to do it's job soon and you'll feel so much better, sweetheart. So much better."

"Why are you doing this?" Amanda wanted to know, her voice breaking a long silence between the two, only the tv had been their sound source for the past ten minutes.

"Doing what?"

Amanda could hear the puzzlement in Olivia's rich velvety tone. "This!" she waved her arm around them, indicating that she was referring to their current situation. "Being so... so concerned about me all of a sudden? I don't want to be rude but you've never cared before."

Those words stung but Olivia knew where the blonde was coming from and the regret that crept upon her was immense. "I always cared, Amanda. No matter what you think, I always cared about you. I know I don't show it and I'm sorry for that but things will be different now, I promise."

"Why?" Amanda stiffened in her embrace, feeling on edge and slightly restless even though her body was tired to the bone. "Why will things change?"

There was no hesitation or uncertainty in Olivia's voice as she answered her blonde subordinate. "Because I love you, Amanda. I'm in love with you." There, it was finally out. Those three words, that she had been so anxious to tell her young detective, were at last out in the open and she felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders but now there was a heavy silence to replace it. "Before you say anything, I want you to know that I don't expect you to feel the same way. I mean, the way I've been treating you, treating everybody lately, hasn't been very professional and I'm really sorry for that. I've been confused the past few months, not knowing what my feelings were towards you but I know now that I have strong feelings of admiration, respect and trust for you and I just want you to know that..."

Suddenly a pair of lips were firmly pressed against Olivia's and brown eyes opened wide, looking at Amanda's face as she tenderly kissed her. The youngers woman's eyes were closed to savour the moment of her boss's lips against her own. Liv was surprised by the sudden act but couldn't help but to smile into the kiss only to deepen it, letting her tongue slowly trace Amanda's bottom lip, asking for entrance, and it was granted.

The first time their tongues met caused a deep moan from each woman, pulling each other tighter against one another, hands caressing and stroking and breaths mingling in arousal until the need for air pulled them apart. Breathlessly, they looked at each other, foreheads connecting and cheeks flushed.

Liv gently rubbed Amanda's tight stomach, feeling the warmth from the hot water bottle on her smooth skin. "How are the cramps now, honey?" she asked, her voice low and husky, concerned about the other woman's pain.

Amanda swallowed heavily, her lips still tingling from the intense kiss. "What cramps?"

The End


End file.
